candymacaron

Random thoughts, fandom, photos, and art from a fashion designer.

Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)

  • Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
  • Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
  • Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
  • Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
  • Dad: Hey are you awak? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
  • Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
  • Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
  • Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
  • Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
  • Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
  • Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
  • Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
  • Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
  • Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
  • Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
  • Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
  • Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
  • Dad: Fuck the government.
  • Dad: Fuck the school board.
  • Dad: Close the door.
  • Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
  • Dad: I love puns.
  • Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
  • Dad: Please shut up.
  • Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
  • Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
  • Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
  • Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
  • Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
  • Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
  • Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
  • Dad: They act like I care what they think.
  • Dad: I hate homework.
  • Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
  • Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.

nahshaw:

the shitty thing about having read a book in which a major character dies in the end is that when you see the movie it’s so fucking painful because when you’re seeing that character and whenever they’re smiling all you can think of is “you’re gonna fucking die” like you can literally feel your soul being ripped out of your chest

(via hannijar)

capitolprostitute:

byronpunk:

jadebloods:

scottiemcchottie:

narcissusmetamorphosis:

we have all read fanfiction that we shouldn’t have

just a few favorite tags

image

image

image

image

just open up tag viewer on this post and settle in with a snack cause ain’t nobody sleeping tonight, friends

image

image

image

image

image

installing tag viewer for this was the best decision i ever made

Literally the first thing I saw when I clicked tag viewer:

image

(via hannijar)

amphigoury-art:

whimsycatcher:

mamalaz:

brilliancetheory:

Colin is that you

I’m sorry, but I love the idea of this, pictures of Merlin throughout history - the same face painted throughout so many eras of time. From Leonardo da Vinci in Renaissance Italy to Picasso’s cubist interpretation of his ears, 

ANOTHER ART PROJECT TO ADD TO MY LIST

with the way the ladies are hanging off him, yeah - must be him! LOL

Yet another reason to love the Pre-Raphaelites. :)

(Hylas and the Nymphs - John William Waterhouse)

(via wanderlust48)

f-l-e-u-r-d-e-l-y-s:

Long exposures photos of “Japan cherry blossoms” by Arixxx

We often see photos of the fascinating and busy city life of Tokyo, however, sometimes it is good to slow down and show other parts of Japan. Photographer Arixxx focuses on taking pictures of nature and nighttime scenes in Hitachi.

(via kittymiaomeow)